Archireviews - Review Archive
Completed Reviews: 1. The Man in Black Arc: Well the main problem with this review was that...well you made me read half way into the story; I'm immediately thrown into this world with no idea who these characters are. Which brings up the first problem I have, there isn't really characterisation even for the main characters. All characters sort of, blend into one another. None of them are really memorable except Fred (and that's because he had two chapters devoted to his past) and Roy with his constant 'with all due respect'. I can’t tell Mike from Dana most of the time, there is just too many characters without anything to separate them. Another thing that blends together is pacing. Everything just…happens. There is no time for the scene to sink in, for example the reveal of Naga exchanging the contents with a bomb, the reveal just…happens. No build-up and again; no time for the action to sink in. Honestly I just thought, ‘who the heck is Naga?’ when I first read it. Despite its flaws, it does however have its plus points. It follows the proper format of a narrative and the story was good in a whole. 2. Give Me a Chance: ' '''A solid one-shot. I had to re-read some parts because I couldn't understand what was going on sometimes but it wasn't that hard to get back on track. Though its kinda weird that he was her brother in another life and loves her romantically in another. Heart-wrentching honestly, almost brought a tear but eh, all in all good job. 3. '''Rise of the Night': An enjoyable ride, but not without its flaws. So sit down and get some depression medicine. First off, props for having a character with a character with godly parent that isn't commonly used. The story is solid; Introduction, Rising Action, Climax and Resolution are all present. Lea is...weird egg to crack. She's a strong character herself (though a bit sue-ish), Brave, selfless; all good traits for our main hero, her humour is good but her interactions with her peers well... we don't see much of it unless its Nico or Percy. Cloe and Ava only appear in the better part of half a chapter and it honestly feels that Ava existed only for the existance of the golden forks. Speaking of the Golden Forks, i'm impartial to that. The amount of times Lea uses the Forks throughout the series can be counted on your fingers. It makes it seem like it was an afterthought and are only there to extend the narrative. The times when Lea does use the forks I just went; "Oh yeah she has those." Though props for having a tool that is unconventional. Gives a 'rebellious' sort of vibe to Lea. On the topic of things that seem forgetable, the shield that Hephaestus gave them/stolen by Nyx; what happened to it? It didn't really have any significance in the perspective on the heroes as will as Nyx. (Oh btw, Nyx was a Protogenoi not a Titan) Nyx didn't mention it or did Lea really use it in anyway. Also the horse people, the Aramsipi Race. What was their deal? Were they a Greek thing? Their presence really just felt weird. Also probably the last thing I will mention, the climax was...anti-climatic. It happened...yeah. 4. Trials of the Rivers: I know by now you're dreading this, but don't worry the sequel of Rise of the Night was much better. Like the previous one, the story is solid. Introduction to Resolution are present. The expansion to include the Lore and background of the Oneroi was great as well, it really gives you a sense that there is a bigger world beyond what Lea sees; and by extension what we see. Gives you a sense that the world does not revolve around her. But going away from the topic, remember the how the climax was anti-climatic? That's a pacing problem (sort of). Things just happen, there's no time for things to sink in. Don't be afraid to extend the narrative a bit by beating around the bush for a while (this is the only situation where beating around the bush is allowed). For example, when Lea loses her powers. The fact that she hit the barrier around Camp was a good thing but it was immediately drowned by her friends congratulating her. It made it feel like the thing was not a big deal (until the next book of course). The order of things happen too fast basically, there should be a pause sometimes between each plot point. Final thing, the whole "All previous questers thing" seemed unnecessary. I know it goes with the prophecy but then again the prophecy just seems to be more troublesome "Let's bring everybody! Oops sorry you can only enter alone so all those people that followed you? Yeah their useless now." 5. Celestial Staff Same mistakes from the second one (pacing is better though) so I'm just going to focus on the problems within the book itself. LeaxNico. They were a thing at the start but what happened next? There was no resolution there, we have no idea what happened to them. Also didn't Lea ask Henry to bring the broken orb to Annabeth for her to repair it? Did I miss something or was that forgetten? Another thing; The Palladium. Did I miss something or did the thing not do anything? Last nickpic(I promise) the Titan's never really felt like a threat. Other than Cloe's Death (btw nice, you're on your way to being a good author when you start killing characters :D) they didnt really do any damage. Finally to end it on a good note, I like the explaination why Lea was the one that could beat the titan menace and that's because with her powers she put all of them to sleep. Its a nice change from the "You're Chosen because you're the main character and because". Also I was mentioned at the end so plus points! (not really) 6. THO: Nostalgic: Alright, let's start. Unfortunately I still cannot give a proper review yet because it's unfinished so I'll just go over the parts in we currently have. Immediately as we start we have very good characterisation which is always good. The first chapter is good, pacing is nice a sense of mystery to the story. Speaking of mystery; there's something I have a problem with though; now idk if it's just the fact that this story is part of a bigger one and I'm reading something in the middle of it or everything is just not revealed yet in any shape for form. It just bugs me. Also Kat's death wasn't really....good? For a lack of a better word. It didn't come as a shock or some kind of emotional fall-out. It just....happened. 7. Mokibu Arc: First off, the characterisation is improved greately. The main characters are done well, each one doesn't get mesh together. (It does get messy later in the chapters since there's a lot more characters.) One problem I have is the cheesy/cliche dialogue which im guessing is anime influenced. It threads the fine line between "Cool" and "Omg, really again?" So use those sparingly. And certain parts are obviously predictable (Rune's 'death' was obviously going to come back). *shrugs* Idk it just seems that way. And finally, my biggest pet peeve; Edison. He's just a...weak villian. Sometimes it just seems that he's evil for the sake of being evil. I get his motivations but the transition from 'Racist' (or demigod-blood....ist) to 'Genocider' is really weird. For the stronger the Light; the thicker the shadows that fall. 15:31, April 16, 2014 (UTC) Category:Archie-Son of Poseidon